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| Thread ID: 39466 | 2003-11-07 06:30:00 | OFF TOPIC: The Rules of Auckland | Susan B (19) | Press F1 |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 189930 | 2003-11-07 06:30:00 | Had to share this. :D If you don't know the rules, stay out of Auckland THE RULES OF AUCKLAND 1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Ork - Lund", not "JAFATOWN." 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Auckland has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Auckland. We all drive like that. 3. All directions start with, "Go down the motorway" 4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a "Scenic Drive." 5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. 6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, abused and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way. *You can ask my sister about getting plowed down by a person who strongly believes in this one! 7. K' Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Ork-Lunder. 8. Construction on motorways & other main streets in peak traffic is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. 9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in Otara !!!." 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. 11. All old ladies with coloured hair in a crappy car have total right-of-way. 12. The minimum acceptable speed on Motorway is 120 kph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. 13. The wrought iron on windows in North Shore is NOT ornamental. 14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. *THIS IS NOT A JOKE EITHER* (Refer to the New Road Rage Rules) 15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 100 km in a 100 km zone, people are not waving when they go by. 16. The Auckland Harbour Bridge road is our daily version of NASCAR. 17. If it's 25 degrees, Xmas must be next weekend. 18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Auckland city. 19. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a motorway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Auckland residents notify Trans & Govt Depts where exits should have been built. 20. You must get as close as possible to the car in front of you, some people have a bumper sticker *Horn Broken, Watch For Finger* or you may not see the finger in time. |
Susan B (19) | ||
| 189931 | 2003-11-07 06:43:00 | Personally i found after a few years in sydney that Auckland traffic was a walk in the park,so light as to not even to bother trying to avoid the rush hour. Now ive been back in Wanganui a couple years i stress out and get abusive when theirs 2 cars infront of me at a roundabout...... |
metla (154) | ||
| 189932 | 2003-11-07 06:49:00 | Hiya Sis :x I won't argue about the traffic rules, I'm not competent to comment, but the true meaning of Jafa was explained to me at a business meeting in Wellington by a young lady of Auckland extraction. As she told it, jafa means "just another fabulous/fantastic Aucklander". And she was too. :| Cheers Billy 8-{) :D |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 189933 | 2003-11-07 06:57:00 | :D ... some of that is actually quite true >When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way. You don't only just count, you have to look both ways as well. :p >8. Construction on motorways & other main streets in peak traffic is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. Heck yeah! I have to drive through major motorway works everyday, and overnight the off-ramp can be relocated to exit in an entirely different area. One day I couldn't even find the usual on-ramp and had to track right across the city to another on-ramp :_| (although it did reappear the next day back in the same spot ?:|) |
Jen C (20) | ||
| 189934 | 2003-11-07 07:50:00 | > One day I couldn't even find the usual on-ramp and had to > track right across the city to another on-ramp :_| > (although it did reappear the next day back in the > same spot ?:|) Oh the disappearing on-ramp :D,( something spooky is happing here :D :p) it is a Common thing at the moment with all these road works going on at the moment. ;\ |
stu140103 (137) | ||
| 189935 | 2003-11-07 08:15:00 | >. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, abused and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way. *You can ask my sister about getting plowed down by a person who strongly believes in this one! tweak'e is quite aapt at lanching off the line and cutting redlighters off ]:) >10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. not quite. in fact they are indicacting to fool you into thinking they may turn in fact they will go in another direction. >12. The minimum acceptable speed on Motorway is 120 kph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. unless its a weekday and then they will drive at 70k in a 50 zone and 70k down the motorway! >19. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a motorway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Auckland residents notify Trans & Govt Depts where exits should have been built. ruts in the grass and sidewark is the local remurwa tractor school bus doing it "rounds". also sidewalks are fair game for couror drivers! |
tweak'e (174) | ||
| 189936 | 2003-11-07 08:20:00 | Don't even get started on the 5 busses which make up our public transport system . . In Auckland we don't flag down the busses as you generally think we do - we have to hold out $20 notes to get the driver to stop and then while we fish out our buscards the drivers use cattle prods to squeeze everyone together a bit more so they can cramp one more person into a bus (which generally isn't on a route you want because that's already full) . . . Britomart was supposed to be the brainchild to solving Aucklands Traffic congestion, yet the train tracks don't run to all suburbs and it's therefore easier for most people to keep taking the car to work . Problem is it's now too late to get any decent (above ground) traintracks in place as the entire city is congested with housing, so the future metro system will be a while by the time someone realizes that they're going to have to go below ground . . . Then you also have the leaky trainstations which've been vandalized that often people think something's strange when they're not full with graffiti . . . Gives you so much confidence to leave your car at the few car parks for those who catch the train - you don't know if you're going to come back and find your car in one piece or not . . Oh yeah - one more - Cars harve the right of way at those zebra crossing things . . . |
cyberchuck (173) | ||
| 189937 | 2003-11-07 08:47:00 | I think Aucklanders should go visit a big city and stop complaining. | metla (154) | ||
| 189938 | 2003-11-07 10:22:00 | Auckland? ork land? sounds like a martian or something... nanu nanu peace to all. Jafa.... well thats those orange and brown things, (cough * balls* ) that come from orkland.... or are made by the dozen in orkland.... Lollies i mean... :p and why, tis beyond me, anyone would want to live up there in the orange and brown city of sails, sinkers and such, is just a mind boggle really. a big can of worms surely.... :p much nicer down our way, or maybe even the mainland..... shock horror or even chch..... :p any way enough said, be nice beetle, remember etiquette ...lol.... :D beetle |
beetle (243) | ||
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