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Thread ID: 129753 2013-03-10 21:28:00 Monday Laughs......Bytes 'n bits, dilemmas etc .................. Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1332129 2013-03-14 00:46:00 Friday Funnies come early!!!
***
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the
highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that
tube."
"Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
***
There is a new virus. The code name is WORK.

If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from
anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances.

This virus wipes out your private life completely.

If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends
and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after
three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your
system.

Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.

Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already
infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life.

If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five
friends.

I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for
the bar anyway...it never hurts to be safe.

THANK GOODNESS I GOT THIS IN TIME!
***
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service
by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.

When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on
the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the
president of the board arranged for you."

The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the
Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your
respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you
and you have not heard the end of this."

The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and
says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."
lordnoddy (3645)
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