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Thread ID: 130564	2013-04-14 01:21:00	The hilarity of Harry Potter quotes when changing "wand" to "willy"	WalOne (4202)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1336878	2013-04-14 01:21:00	I came across this again whilst reading "similar threads" attached to the current "So much for marriage equality" . In an attempt to liven the forum and avoid more pointless circular anti maori, anti gay "discussions" yet again, I thought it worthwhile re-posting . Thanks to Darkstar09 for the original, from 07 . 12 . 2009 :thumbs: "Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around . There were several faces peering through various nearby windows . Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent . " A magic willy . . . this was what Harry had been really looking forward to . "Yes, yes . I thought I'd be seeing you soon . Harry Potter . " It wasn't a question . "You have your mother's eyes . It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first willy . Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow . Nice willy for charm work . " "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany willy . Eleven inches . " " . . . Today's will be a practical lesson . You will only need your willies . " "Don't put your willy there, boy!" roared Moody . " "Both Sirius and Snape lowered their willies . . . the unexpected entrance of so many witnesses seemed to have brought them to their senses . . . "But what's going on?" asked Mr . Weasley . "Nothing, Arthur," said Sirius, who was breathing heavily as though he had just run . . . a long distance . " "There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's willy and mine sort of . . . connected . " "Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?" said Snape smoothly . "Willy out, Potter . " Dumbledore drew his willy out of the inside of his robes and placed the tip into his own silvery hair, near his temple . When he took the willy away, hair seemed to be clinging to it - but then Harry saw that it was in fact a glistening strand of the same strange silvery-white substance that filled the Pensieve . Draco whipped out his willy, but Harry was prepared and his willy was in his hand before draco could react . . . . "He and all the other Weasleys froze on the threshold, gazing at the scene in front of them, which was also suspended in mid-action, both Sirius and Snape looking toward the door with their willies pointing into each other's faces and Harry immobile between them . . . " "Snape lay panting on the ground . James and Sirius advanced on him, willies raised . . . " "Are you OK?" said Harry urgently . "My willy," said Ron . "Look at my willy . " It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled . She grabbed Harry's willy, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!" Harry's willy was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it; his hand seized up around it; he couldnt have released if he'd wanted to . "Come on Harry, whack your willy out . " said Hermione . The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's willy had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils . "Lupin drew his willy so fast that Harry had barely the chance to reach for his own" "It's time you learned the difference between life and dreams Potter," said Malfoy . "Now give me the prophecy, or we start using willies . " "Go, on then," said Harry, raising his own willy to chest height . As he did so, the five willies of Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Luna rose to either side of him . He bent down and pulled his willy out of the troll's nose . It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue . But a reckless rage had come over Harry . He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his willy, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon . He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his willy, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground . Then he whirled his willy at the dementors . Shot silver stuff at them . "Running to Daddy now, are you? Is his ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's willy?" "Your authority!" she sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp . "You lost your authority when you lost your willy, Lucious!" "Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this . " said Hermione, raising her willy . "Yes," Harry said, gripping his willy very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom . He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding . . . . Any second now, he might hear his mother again . . . but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to . . . or did he? Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his willy . "Then he whirled his willy at the dementors . Shot silver stuff at them . " "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry yelled . Nothing happened . Harry gripped his willy tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance prtruded from the end of it . Then, with a sigh, he raised his willy and prodded the silvery substance with its tip . He looked up . Riddle was still watching him-twirling Harry's willy between his long fingers . "Thanks . " said Harry, stretching out his hand for it . A smile curled the corners of riddles mouth . He continued to stare at Harry, twirling the willy idly . "Yes, very handsome . And is it working well? I always think willies require a little breaking in, don't you?" 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped . For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised willy . Harry hurried along it, stumbling now and then on the uneven floor, holding his willy out in front of him . "There will be no foolish willy-waving or silly incantations in this class!" "What's got your willy in a knot?" "Just because you can use magic now does not mean you have to whip your willies out for everything!" "No," said Voldemort . "I have peformed my usual magic . I am extraordinary . But this willy . . . no . It has not revealed the wonders it has promised . I feel no difference between this willy and the willy I procured from ollivander all those years ago . " " . . . did things with a willy I've never seen before . . . " "But if my willy was so powerful, how come Hermione was able to break it?" " I remember every willy I've ever sold, Mr . Potter . It so happens that the phoenix whose tailfeather resides in your willy gave another feather . . . just one other . It is curious that you should be destined for this willy when its brother gave you that scar . " Harry took the willy . He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers . He raised the willy above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls . "Harry looked down at his own Willy . He could see finger marks all over it . . . " "Stand back . " said Lockhart, who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves . "No-don't-" said Harry weakly, but Lockhart was twirling his willy and a second later had directed it Harry's at arm . He looked down at his willy, which he was still clutching in his hand . "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry . "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth . In me third year . They snapped me willy in half an' everything . " "Don't put away your willy, Harry . They might come back . " Harry had a choice of paths up ahead . "Point me!" he wispered again to his willy, and it spun around and pointed him to the right-hand one . A tiny boy no older than two was crouched outside a large pyramid-shaped tent, holding a willy and poking happily at a slug in the grass, which was swelling slowly to the size of a salami . As they drew level with him, his mother came hurrying out of the tent . "How many times, Kevin? You don't — touch — Daddy's — willy— yecchh!" :banana :D:D	WalOne (4202)
1336879	2013-04-14 02:02:00	Thanks for the laugh WalOne. seen it before but stull funny.	tut (12033)
1336880	2013-04-14 02:21:00	:lol: :lol:	pcuser42 (130)
1336881	2013-04-14 02:47:00	I came across this again whilst reading " similar threads " attached to the current " So much for marriage equality " . In an attempt to liven the forum and divert attention away from what our politicians are up to, I thought it worthwhile re-posting . Thanks to Darkstar09 for the original, from 07 . 12 . 2009 :thumbs: " Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around . There were several faces peering through various nearby windows . Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent . " A magic willy . . . this was what Harry had been really looking forward to . " Yes, yes . I thought I'd be seeing you soon . Harry Potter . " It wasn't a question . " You have your mother's eyes . It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first willy . Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow . Nice willy for charm work . " " Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany willy . Eleven inches . " " . . . Today's will be a practical lesson . You will only need your willies . " " Don't put your willy there, boy! " roared Moody . " " Both Sirius and Snape lowered their willies . . . the unexpected entrance of so many witnesses seemed to have brought them to their senses . . . " But what's going on? " asked Mr . Weasley . " Nothing, Arthur, " said Sirius, who was breathing heavily as though he had just run . . . a long distance . " " There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's willy and mine sort of . . . connected . " " Well, we'll soon find out, won't we? " said Snape smoothly . " Willy out, Potter . " Dumbledore drew his willy out of the inside of his robes and placed the tip into his own silvery hair, near his temple . When he took the willy away, hair seemed to be clinging to it - but then Harry saw that it was in fact a glistening strand of the same strange silvery-white substance that filled the Pensieve . Draco whipped out his willy, but Harry was prepared and his willy was in his hand before draco could react . . . . " He and all the other Weasleys froze on the threshold, gazing at the scene in front of them, which was also suspended in mid-action, both Sirius and Snape looking toward the door with their willies pointing into each other's faces and Harry immobile between them . . . " " Snape lay panting on the ground . James and Sirius advanced on him, willies raised . . . " " Are you OK? " said Harry urgently . " My willy, " said Ron . " Look at my willy . " It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters " Oh, move over, " Hermione snarled . She grabbed Harry's willy, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora! " Harry's willy was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it; his hand seized up around it; he couldnt have released if he'd wanted to . " Come on Harry, whack your willy out . " said Hermione . The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's willy had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils . " Lupin drew his willy so fast that Harry had barely the chance to reach for his own " " It's time you learned the difference between life and dreams Potter, " said Malfoy . " Now give me the prophecy, or we start using willies . " " Go, on then, " said Harry, raising his own willy to chest height . As he did so, the five willies of Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Luna rose to either side of him . He bent down and pulled his willy out of the troll's nose . It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue . But a reckless rage had come over Harry . He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his willy, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon . He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his willy, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground . Then he whirled his willy at the dementors . Shot silver stuff at them . " Running to Daddy now, are you? Is his ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's willy? " " Your authority! " she sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp . " You lost your authority when you lost your willy, Lucious! " " Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this . " said Hermione, raising her willy . " Yes, " Harry said, gripping his willy very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom . He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding . . . . Any second now, he might hear his mother again . . . but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to . . . or did he? Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his willy . " Then he whirled his willy at the dementors . Shot silver stuff at them . " " EXPECTO PATRONUM! " Harry yelled . Nothing happened . Harry gripped his willy tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance prtruded from the end of it . Then, with a sigh, he raised his willy and prodded the silvery substance with its tip . He looked up . Riddle was still watching him-twirling Harry's willy between his long fingers . " Thanks . " said Harry, stretching out his hand for it . A smile curled the corners of riddles mouth . He continued to stare at Harry, twirling the willy idly . " Yes, very handsome . And is it working well? I always think willies require a little breaking in, don't you? " 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped . For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised willy . Harry hurried along it, stumbling now and then on the uneven floor, holding his willy out in front of him . " There will be no foolish willy-waving or silly incantations in this class! " " What's got your willy in a knot? " " Just because you can use magic now does not mean you have to whip your willies out for everything! " " No, " said Voldemort . " I have peformed my usual magic . I am extraordinary . But this willy . . . no . It has not revealed the wonders it has promised . I feel no difference between this willy and the willy I procured from ollivander all those years ago . " " . . . did things with a willy I've never seen before . . . " " But if my willy was so powerful, how come Hermione was able to break it? " " I remember every willy I've ever sold, Mr . Potter . It so happens that the phoenix whose tailfeather resides in your willy gave another feather . . . just one other . It is curious that you should be destined for this willy when its brother gave you that scar . " Harry took the willy . He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers . He raised the willy above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls . " Harry looked down at his own Willy . He could see finger marks all over it . . . " " Stand back . " said Lockhart, who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves . " No-don't- " said Harry weakly, but Lockhart was twirling his willy and a second later had directed it Harry's at arm . He looked down at his willy, which he was still clutching in his hand . " Why aren't you supposed to do magic? " asked Harry . " Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth . In me third year . They snapped me willy in half an' everything . " " Don't put away your willy, Harry . They might come back . " Harry had a choice of paths up ahead . " Point me! " he wispered again to his willy, and it spun around and pointed him to the right-hand one . A tiny boy no older than two was crouched outside a large pyramid-shaped tent, holding a willy and poking happily at a slug in the grass, which was swelling slowly to the size of a salami . As they drew level with him, his mother came hurrying out of the tent . " How many times, Kevin? You don't — touch — Daddy's — willy— yecchh! " :banana :D:D Fixed that for you Wal . :D	B.M. (505)
1336882	2013-04-14 03:00:00	Fixed that for you Wal. :D :p	WalOne (4202)
1336883	2013-04-14 03:46:00	Too much reading there.	Bobh (5192)
1336884	2013-04-14 08:38:00	Like Bob, my attention span doesn't extend that far.	Cicero (40)
1336885	2013-04-14 12:02:00	The hilarity of Harry Potter quotes when changing "wand" to "willy" Funny as!!! :clap	Greg (193)
1336886	2013-04-14 12:12:00	bash.org It's been around for at least 8 years? :D	Chilling_Silence (9)
1336887	2013-04-14 21:44:00	I came across this again whilst reading "similar threads" attached to the current "So much for marriage equality" . Thanks to Darkstar09 for the original, from 07 . 12 . 2009 :thumbs: I know :)	WalOne (4202)
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