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Thread ID: 47671	2004-08-02 06:12:00	OT: More Monday laughs! You'll like these Winston!	Billy T (70)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
257494	2004-08-02 06:12:00	Have a chuckle! Cheers Billy 8-{) :D These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word,taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. -------------------------------------------------- Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ----------------------------------------------------- Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? ------------------------------------------------------ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. ------------------------------------------------------ Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ----------------------------------------------------- Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? ----------------------------------------------------- Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? -------------------------------------------------------- Q: Were you present at the time your picture was taken? -------------------------------------------------------- Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ---------------------------------------------------------- Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? -------------------------------------------------------- Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? -------------------------------------------------------- Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I always dress when I go to work. ---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ---------------------------------------------------------- Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him. --------------------------------------------------------- Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ------------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Not unless he was out practicing law somewhere.	Billy T (70)
257495	2004-08-02 06:18:00	The last one is priceless :D:D:D	Jester (13)
257496	2004-08-02 08:26:00	5 - 0 to the Doctors :^O Winnie, in fairness you should have the right to reply but the session is over. Cheers Murray ;P	Murray P (44)
257497	2004-08-02 09:27:00	Two problems with lawyer jokes: 1 Lawyers don't understand them 2 Everyone else thinks they are true :D :D	Winston001 (3612)
257498	2004-08-02 09:52:00	> Two problems with lawyer jokes: > > 1 Lawyers don't understand them > > 2 Everyone else thinks they are true From the other perspective... My brother's a lawyer, and believe me some of the stories he's told me would have you absolutely cracking up!	Greg S (201)
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