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Thread ID: 48168	2004-08-16 04:27:00	OT: Monday laughs	Billy T (70)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
262156	2004-08-16 10:23:00	Ah jeez Winston, now you've done it . :O Here come the blonde jokes again: Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks . The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" They were still arguing ten minutes later when the train hit them . A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde . The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde . The bouncer is blonde . The man sitting over to your left is also blonde . Still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :D Disclaimer: I am not a blonde either	Billy T (70)
262157	2004-08-16 11:38:00	One weekend Helen Clark is gladhanding her way through the Otara market, and she sees a girl with a basket. She goes over to little girl and asks her what's in the basket. The youngster replies that they are kittens. Helen then goes on to ask her what kind of kittens. The Girl replies they are socialist kittens they belong to the Labour Party. Well, this gets Helen excited knowing she's reached this little girl. A couple of weeks later she's in the market again with some cabinet ministers and a TV crew. Once again she sees the girl with the basket. Helen decides to show off a little in front of the TV cameras and go ask the girl about her kittens. Our Glorious Leader goes to the girl, asks her what's in the basket, and again she replies kittens. She then again asks what kind of kittens, but this time the girl responds they are torys - National Party kittens. This gets Helen a little uneasy and she proceeds to say that just a couple of weeks earlier they were socialists. The young girl replied, "Oh that was before their eyes were open."	tutaenui (1724)
262158	2004-08-16 16:19:00	OK Winston, I've been waiting for someone else to ask ... And they haven't - so I finally have to confess my ignorance/naievity. And shopping at Dunedin's PakNSave hasn't helped... I doan geddit. Will someone more sophisticated please explain? (And yes, I am a blonde. Forgive me)	Laura (43)
262159	2004-08-16 16:41:00	Could that just be a "Coin-in-the-slot" children's toy horse ?	R2x1 (4628)
262160	2004-08-16 17:45:00	Possibly.. But my PakNSave doesn't have one. So maybe it's an Invercargill thing..? (And before anyone gets rude about Invercargill, it's a city I love dearly -even though I live in Otago)	Laura (43)
262161	2004-08-16 18:46:00	It's an "any supermarket, shopping mall, other place with kiddie rides" thing Laura, so don't feel too blonde about it. :8} Here's another one to round out the connection: Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing.Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!""Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!" BTW, the three jokes I posted are from a new twist in spam from the *cough* male performance enhancing brigade. They prefix their spam message with two or more jokes and they are getting through Mailwasher's filter with this techniques too! I have Mailwasher set to show the first 66 lines of any message and these ones are showing as probably friend. It seems that Mailwasher doesn't read the whole message, just the first 10-20 lines to see if it finds anything it doesn't like. Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
262162	2004-08-16 19:51:00	Oh dear Oh Dear Thanks, Billy for the interpretation Obviously I spent too many years listening to coarse newsroom jokes to get the simple ones... (Journalists spend so much time looking for the subleties, they can forget that sometimes there aren't any.)	Laura (43)
262163	2004-08-16 22:45:00	Hi Laura. Invercargill Pak'n'Sav has a magnificent coin-in-the-slot mechanical horse in the foyer. My children always ran to it when they were smaller. Apologies for being obscure. :D	Winston001 (3612)
262164	2004-08-17 04:26:00	> (And before anyone gets rude about Invercargill, it's a city I love dearly -even though I live in Otago) :O How can you love this place? It's a hole!	kiki (762)
262165	2004-08-17 04:37:00	The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and The British authorities off the north coast of Scotland . The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95 . BRITISH : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid collision . US Navy : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision . BRITISH : Negative . You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision . US Navy : This is the Captain of US Navy ship . I say again, divert YOUR course . BRITISH : Negative . I say again . You will have to divert your course . US Navy : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER 'USS LINCOLN' THE SECONDLARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET . WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS . DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP . SCROLL DOWN . . . . . . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > BRITISH : We are a lighthouse . F*&k off .	CYaBro (73)
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