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Thread ID: 134751	2013-08-06 21:47:00	fastest / cheapest legal funeral possible in NZ	kingdragonfly (309)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1350716	2013-08-07 09:01:00	I either want to be strapped onto a motorcycle, set on fire and launched over a bus into a concrete wall while Heavy Metal cranks, they can then feed the flames until their is nothing left behind or... uh... Thats it, I did envision a cunning stunt involving a dolphin, a roller coaster, a wheelchair and a cheer leading squad but I think I'll go for the motorcycle stunt.	Metla (12)
1350717	2013-08-07 09:03:00	Wait, I want to be stuffed into a wheelie bin with a blow up doll and rolled down one of these steep hills in Duniden. Fire is optional. Are we still talking about funerals or just **** that sounds like fun?	Metla (12)
1350718	2013-08-07 09:34:00	Thats it, I did envision a cunning stunt involving a dolphin, a roller coaster, a wheelchair and a cheer leading squad but I think I'll go for the motorcycle stunt. I read that with the c and the st around the wrong way :waughh:	Dannz (1668)
1350719	2013-08-07 09:44:00	I either want to be strapped onto a motorcycle, set on fire and launched over a bus into a concrete wall while Heavy Metal cranks, they can then feed the flames until their is nothing left behind or... uh... Thats it, I did envision a cunning stunt involving a dolphin, a roller coaster, a wheelchair and a cheer leading squad but I think I'll go for the motorcycle stunt. And all I wanted was for my casket to be sent by rail :p	pcuser42 (130)
1350720	2013-08-07 09:45:00	Second, I'd like to be cremated within one day of my death, and the funeral home personnel scatter my ashes into the ocean without ceremony.Are you a registered organ donor? If you have an untimely death, it is nice to think your bits and bobs could help someone else live.	Jen (38)
1350721	2013-08-07 10:12:00	My dearest Mum is dying right now, on Monday afternoon last week she had a major stroke at 92 and has been unconscious ever since. She has had a few TIA's in the last year so we knew this was coming and she asked for a 'do not resuscitate' instruction to be put in place. A lovely picture of her was taken about half an hour before with an iPad, and I talked to her over the phone about 20 mins before the stroke. They observed her until Thursday morning and after a meeting and consultation with the family withdrew all water and food by infusion and put her on a morphine drip, well it is Wednesday night almost a week later and she is slowly dying by inches, starting to smell and her feet are turning blue, I used to do her pedicure and it is greatly distressing to see her in such a state: "Death Without Dignty" NZ style. She was South Island Secretary of the Euthanasia Society for years before it got to be too much for her to deal with as she got older, just to add to the irony.	zqwerty (97)
1350722	2013-08-07 10:15:00	I am sorry to hear that Zqwerty.	Jen (38)
1350723	2013-08-07 10:20:00	Funerals: Both of us have donated our corpses to Med School (when we are actually a corpse that is). We do have to be in a usable condition, so no death by fire or sharks for instance. They pick up the corpse and take it away, cost $0. If we do happen to be chewed or burnt or something well then there is this: www.stateofgrace.net.nz Or you can make your own. Even cheaper. Cremation: www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz $550. So all up, less than $1000, or make your own packaging - $550 and no other cost. It's written into our wills and next of kin (and will executor)) have copies of the instructions.[/QUOTE] In Australia, one can purchase a Special Government Form " Personal Health Directive" which is filled in with one's GP, and can be lodged if necessary with a Hospital I completed one when I had Heart surgery, with a do not resuscitate instruction. As far as donating one's body to science, there are some major restrictions: It must be done be the occupant of the body. (As a joke we donated our Wing Commander CO's body for science - we got a nice letter back declining our offer) Bodies with unhealed surgical wounds are not acceptable. Bodies that died of some medical conditions are nor acceptable eg- Aids Bodies that where killed in an accident sustaining major trauma are not acceptable. Bodies that have been subject to autopsies aren't acceptable. So even if you donate your mortal remains to science, they could be rejected and the family could still be faced with the cost of a funeral. In Australia, one can prepay ones future funeral in today's dollars and stipulate exactly what you want done or not done. There is currently a major "racket" going on with Insurance Companies selling Funeral and Final expenses Insurance - a bloody expensive way of doing things, if one takes out a policy at 50 and lives till 89, one will pay 5-6 times the going cost of a standard funeral. How does one get a lawful cremation without using a licensed funeral director. Funeral directors are in the business to make money, as much as possible and can prey on a grieving family to commit to additional expense. I see the whole funeral business as a very expensive operation, taking advantage of grieving families. We are all going to die, accept it stop worrying about it and get along with life in the meantime. When one is dead, that's it finito, so cut out the bullsh*t and all the funeral business, do it as cheaply as possible within the law. I don't want a service of any form for myself, and have stipulated so. The family can do what they like with the money saved, put it over a bar, have a holiday whatever. Suggested opening phrase for the Last Will and Testament; " Being of sound mind I spent everything I could while I was alive, I bequeath the following Debts to ......	KenESmith (6287)
1350724	2013-08-07 19:20:00	Sad times Zqwerty. I feel for you Ken	kenj (9738)
1350725	2013-08-07 20:37:00	Thanks all. I wouldn't tell my friend this, but the family asking him for a slide show for a week-long funeral is borderline sadism, for all involved.	kingdragonfly (309)
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