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Thread ID: 48950	2004-09-05 22:25:00	OT: Monday Laughs	Billy T (70)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
269604	2004-09-06 04:24:00	Nyet, if you are serious, you are the one who should be banned. Jack	JJJJJ (528)
269605	2004-09-06 05:16:00	ROFL - but if no 9 is supposed to be genuine, the commentator is being very naughty - that story has been around for years!	tbacon_nz (865)
269606	2004-09-06 05:19:00	Will I get banned for blond jokes too? A blond is driving somewhat erratically down the highway and happens to nudge the rear end of a ute. The two vehicles duly pull over, and out of the ute steps a burly, rather annoyed brute with a baseball bat. He draws a circle in the dirt on the side of the road, and tells the blond to stand in it. He then proceeds to bash the crap out of her car with the bat, paying special attention to the window regions. Once satisfied, he turns to see the blond giggling uncontrollably. He asks her, "what the hell are you laughing for?" to which she replies, "I stepped out of the circle while you weren't looking!"	Spartacus (3313)
269607	2004-09-06 05:22:00	This has been around for years. Some of you may have not heard it. During a cricket test between England and the West Indies the commentator actualy said. "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." Jack	JJJJJ (528)
269608	2004-09-06 06:03:00	(Been saving this one for the next guy who told a blonde joke) What's the first thing God said after he created Adam? "I can do better!"	Laura (43)
269609	2004-09-06 06:11:00	Priest's Retirement – Lesson: Never Be Late A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the 25th anniversary of his arrival in that parish . A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited . "You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken . “However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here . I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here 25th years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place . "The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer . "Further, he told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled money from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs and gave VD to his sister . "I was appalled . But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had indeed come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people . " Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late . He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk . "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician . "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession . " Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE ;-)	Fire-and-Ice (3910)
269610	2004-09-06 06:13:00	> (Been saving this one for the next guy who told a blonde joke) > > What's the first thing God said after he created Adam? > > "I can do better!" You'll like this even better then: WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? You need a rough draft before you make a final copy ;-)	Fire-and-Ice (3910)
269611	2004-09-06 07:17:00	Sorry to be a wet sock Billy but your jokes were changed to make out they came from Athens Olympics. poke part of the joke into google and see were that leads you, there was one joke left out, that was hard to fit because they don't have that sport in the Olympics.	Earnie Moore (5918)
269612	2004-09-06 08:01:00	Never the less Billy it was a good joke, Subject: Two nuns and Dracula Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car . They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light . Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield . "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine . "What shall we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on . That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen . Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns . "What shall I do now?" she shouts . "Switch on the windshield washer . I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen . Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer . Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns . "Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine? "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen . "Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine . She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f**k off the car!"	Earnie Moore (5918)
269613	2004-09-06 09:07:00	Hi Smithie, Reminds me of a conversation I had with my daughter 10 min ago. I was giving her a telling off for lying to me and her mother. I told her that soon she will have to get out and get a job and no one will want to give her a job if she lied. I asked her what she wanted to do for a job (she is only 6). She said "I want to be a vet" "So do you think that vets would lie to their animals they are helping?" I said. "no" she said. "In that case I want to be a lawyer.......what does a lawyer do?" "They lie..........you'll be a good lawyer" sam m	sam m (517)
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