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Thread ID: 134913	2013-09-02 00:22:00	Monday Laughs.....Proof reading, Revenge, and how God invented radio.................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1352494	2013-09-02 00:22:00	. Proofreading is a Dying Art (actually, it's a DEAD art!) Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter . ???? ------------------------------------------------------- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says . Really? Ya think? ------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers . Now that's taking things a bit far! ------------------------------------------------------ Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over . What a guy! ------------------------------------------------------- Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so's! ------------------------------------------------------- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! ------------------------------------------------------- War Dims Hope for Peace I can see where it might have that effect! ------------------------------------------------------- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Ya think?! ------------------------------------------------------- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Really . . . ?! ------------------------------------------------------- Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide They may be on to something! --------------------------------------------------- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ------------------------------------------------------- Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge He probably IS the battery charge! ------------------------------------------------------- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group So the last lot were not fat enough?! ------------------------------------------------------- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft That's what he gets for eating those beans! ------------------------------------------------------- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Do they taste like chicken? ------------------------------------------------------- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Chainsaw Massacre all over again! ------------------------------------------------------- Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall! ------------------------------------------------------- And the winner is . . . . Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Did I read that right? ************************************** A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks . While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink . The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one . After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him . The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: - A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice . The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains: "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in you mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice . " So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it . He puts the salt on his tongue - salty, but OK . He drinks the shot of Baileys, smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant . He thinks - this is OK . Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it . . . In one second the sharp lime taste hits . . . . . . At two seconds the Baileys curdles . . . At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits . This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink . When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, "Jesus, what do you call that drink?" She smiles sweetly at him and says, "BJ Revenge" . ********************************* A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”? The girl answered with a loud voice; NO! I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!! All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed . After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?” The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!! All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock, and the guy whispered in her ear; “I study Law, and I know how to make someone feel guilty" ********************************* Conclusive proof that god invented radio in the Garden of Eden He took a rib from Adam and made it into a loudspeaker . . . . . . . . . . . I rest my case! Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1352495	2013-09-02 01:59:00	:punk	gary67 (56)
1352496	2013-09-02 03:02:00	. Proofreading is a Dying Art (actually, it's a DEAD art!) Yes, on the news this morning, reading the news item about the reporter in Egypt - they mentioned his "detainment" . Er . . . . it's detention . . . .	pctek (84)
1352497	2013-09-02 03:37:00	Cheers Billy! *** Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment - normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in denied permission to play the course again. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers. Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play at this time. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same course several times in one month. Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment - normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in denied permission to play the course again. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers. Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play at this time. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same course several times in one month.	lordnoddy (3645)
1352498	2013-09-02 09:23:00	1. When chemists die,they barium. 2. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 3. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. 4. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 5. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 6. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. 7. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. 8. PMS jokes aren't funny; period. 9. Why were the Indians the US first? They had reservations. 10. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 11. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? 12. When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. 13. Broken pencils are pointless. 14. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 15. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 16. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 17. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 18. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 19. Velcro — what a rip off! 20. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. 21. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! 22. The earthquake in Wellington obviously was the government's fault. 23. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.	tutaenui (1724)
1352499	2013-09-02 21:06:00	Yes, on the news this morning, reading the news item about the reporter in Egypt - they mentioned his "detainment". Er....it's detention.... sorry but detainment is perfectly acceptable, if fact the definition says "detention for a short time" www.thefreedictionary.com	dugimodo (138)
1352500	2013-09-03 03:47:00	9 . Why were the Indians the US first? They had reservations . A touch of historical inaccuracy there I think . The Indians didn't get reservations until after they'd been screwed, and by then it was too late . They were also there long before the palefaces arrived, and the US was a long time coming after that . They seem to be making a comeback of some significance in recent years though, won't be long before the palefaces need reservations! (Actually they already have them, they are called cities . . . . . . ) History is an interesting subject . . . . . . . . . . it has a habit of repeating itself repeating itself! Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
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