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Thread ID: 135136	2013-09-29 20:05:00	Monday Laughs....WFTWE and Windows reprised..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1354622	2013-09-29 20:05:00	. I wasn't going to comment on the Americas Cup, but in a flash of deja-vu, I recalled posting this 'Word For The Weekend' back in 2005: I don't think Team New Zealand is going to pull it off this time :( honourificabilitudinitatibus: With honourableness When the final curtain falls, whatever the outcome, the boys in black will have competed with honourificabilitudinitatibus. Note: A comment was made that the word was longer than its definition....a rare feat! :nerd: (These were real words, not jokes!) ********************************* An elderly couple are outside on their porch in their rocking chairs. The husband says to the lady, "F*** you" 5 minutes later the wife say to the man, "F*** you" Another 5 minutes passes before the wife replies, "You know, this oral sex isnt all its cracked up to be." ********************************* A woman gives birth to a baby, and a short while afterwards, the doctor comes to her room looking very serious and says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits bolt upright in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? Tell me what's wrong???" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your child is a little bit different, it is a hermaphrodite." The woman says, "A hermaphrodite... what's that???" The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the...er...most important features... of both a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my God! You mean it has a penis AND a brain? ********************************* Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent Monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so". Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words." Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed." After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine. "Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today." "I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine. "It's probably for the best," said the Priest, "You've done nothing but bltch since you got here." ********************************* Microsoft Reprised: A look back in time to earlier days of Windows................ With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if Windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following. 1. Viruses replicate quickly. Windows does this. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. Windows does this. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. Windows does this. 4. Viruses are usually carried, unkown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Same with Windows, yet again. Maybe Windows really is a virus. Nope! There is a difference! Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So there! Windows is not a virus. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Disk Full - Press F1 to belch. WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ? WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of. WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one. WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not! WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software. WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that. WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate. WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code. WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers. WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost. WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again. WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue. WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded. WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure. WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available. WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted. Comments and Opinions: A contribution from the supporters of alternative operating systems............. 1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house. 2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle. 3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell. 4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows. 5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS. 6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance. 7. Windows 3. 1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy. 8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty. 9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying. 10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better 1 1. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows. 1 2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows! 1 3. OS/ 2. Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates. 1 4. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [A]bsolutely [O]f Course! 1 5. Good Morning User, how would you like to crash today? Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1354623	2013-09-29 20:32:00	Some things improve with time. Thanks.	R2x1 (4628)
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