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Thread ID: 50973	2004-11-07 22:55:00	Monday Laughs	Billy T (70)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
289113	2004-11-11 18:28:00	CHEWING GUM A Kiwi was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Kiwi politely ignored the American who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said: "Do you NooZealand folk eat the whole bread?" The Kiwi frowned, annoyed at being bothered during his breakfast and replied, "Yes, of course we do!" The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to NooZealand." The American had a smirk on his face, the Kiwi listened in silence. The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Kiwi replied, "Yes." Cracking the gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell it to NooZealand." The Kiwi then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?" The Yank smiled and said, "Yeah, of course we do." The Kiwi leant closer to him and asked, "What do you do with your rubbers once you've used them?" "We throw them away of course," replied the American. Now it was the Kiwi's turn to smile. "We don't. In New Zealand, we collect them in containers, recycle them, melt them down and transform them into chewing gum and sell them to the States, that's why it's called "Wrigley's".	Spencer (5624)
289114	2004-11-11 23:51:00	:^O a good find spence.	alphazulusixeightniner (185)
289115	2004-11-12 00:12:00	lmao nicely done guys	Codex (3761)
289116	2004-11-12 00:14:00	Actually alpha, I thought it was in very bad taste.:^O Spence :D	Spencer (5624)
289117	2004-11-12 00:28:00	16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN... by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!) 7. Never lick a steak knife. 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. Take good note of this one, guys!! :D 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21. 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 14. Your friends love you anyway. 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine.. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the cr@p out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erect!ons and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them... :^O Credit goes to the person who sent me this one and wasn't brave enough to post it. :p :D	Susan B (19)
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