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| Thread ID: 135608 | 2013-11-23 01:23:00 | Cops and Condoms | SP8's (9836) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1360650 | 2013-11-23 01:23:00 | Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous . Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night . The next day, at the Gwinntt County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication . The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop . 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated . Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need . 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment . In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car . 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor . 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin . ' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . . . 'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? **** . . . is it midnight already?' The court (and the judge) could not contain their mirth . The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as the 'Best come-back line ever . ' >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist . The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom . The condom has a number of patches on it . The chemist holds it up, and eyes it critically . "How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist . "Six pence," says the pharmacist . "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence," says the pharmacist . The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it in his sporran and marches out the door of the pharmacy, kilt swinging . A moment or two later the pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout . The Scot walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist . "The regiment has taken a vote," says the Scot . "We'll have a new one . " |
SP8's (9836) | ||
| 1360651 | 2013-11-23 08:38:00 | Lol to both of them, 1st one very good. | zqwerty (97) | ||
| 1360652 | 2013-11-23 09:39:00 | :D :lol: | wainuitech (129) | ||
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