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Thread ID: 135599 2013-11-21 23:47:00 TGIF ... a couple of jokes to end the week on SP8's (9836) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1360568 2013-11-21 23:47:00 A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,

"Those are for married men…

One for January, one for February, one For March......."


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


2 QUARTERS or a DOLLAR BILL

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.'

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'


The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.
'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'


Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy
coming out of the ice cream store & says ;
'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on highway I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
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"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"


So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice every day.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.
Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

Startled, Sophia replies,

'Yes, Luigi , I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
Luigi answers,'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, 'Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?'

Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?'

He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?'

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red...

He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please,please, tella me this true!'

Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight...'

Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ....

I thought I had a crack in my
$300 Armani leather shoes...!


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


The new Royal Baby, George, has already
done three of the things on my bucket list.

1. Became a billionaire
2. Met the Queen
3. Sucked Kate Middleton's Tits


Think it's time for me to go .....

Have a great weekend guys 'n' girls 		SP8's (9836)
1360569 2013-11-22 02:28:00 Lol...3...2...1....-------> banned zqwerty (97)
1360570 2013-11-22 04:59:00 Have you heard of the 999mb band, me neither, their haven't had a gig yet plod (107)
1360571 2013-11-22 06:32:00 Lol...3...2...1....-------> banned

SSShhhhh ... no mods need know about this post. 		SP8's (9836)
1360572 2013-11-22 22:04:00 Those were great! :lol: Agent_24 (57)
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