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| Thread ID: 135827 | 2013-12-16 00:15:00 | Monday Laughs........Xmas Themed - in part.......... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1362773 | 2013-12-16 03:36:00 | Right now a Nepalese monastery is looking good :waughh:[/i] What tickles your fancy there Billy... the monastery or the monks? Ken :o |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1362774 | 2013-12-16 04:07:00 | Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have Facebook. Fixed that for you ;) |
pcuser42 (130) | ||
| 1362775 | 2013-12-16 11:14:00 | What tickles your fancy there Billy . . . the monastery or the monks? Ken :o I'm not quite sure how to answer that . I've never had a Monk of any denomination tickle my fancy, that is Mrs T's sole perogative, and whether or not she ever takes advantage of the opportunity is quite besides the point as far as she is concerned . Her stated position is that if there is any fancy tickling to be done, and she is not making any rash statements or offers to that effect, any tickling of fancies will be done by her or nobody! I am now embarking on a nationwide search for an attractive and nubile young fancy-tickler called Nobody . Deed-poll name changes will be accepted . :devil Cheers Billy 8-{) :D |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1362776 | 2013-12-16 19:37:00 | Found one - I like to contribute when I can. *** 35 stupid things people have put on their CV! OBJECTIVE: "To secure a job or a career." "To become a billionier." "I aim to work with your organization. You will provide me with challenging tasks to perform in an efficient way and then reach the top and achieve the maximum out of the given opportunities enriching my strengths and beating all my weaknesses." "I am seeking a permanent position to get out of debt." "To find a challenging and rewarding job in a _______." "I am looking for a challenging career where there is scope for ample demonstration because I am always on the lookout for a positive and bigger outlook, currency and ideas which thrive on imagination, passion and boundless curiosity and rigorous thinking." "To be able to wear feathers to work. Appropriately, of course." QUALIFICATIONS: "I have some experience in the technology industry, but that was 20 years ago." "I have incredibly entertaining hair." EXPERIENCE: "As an administrative professional, I coordinate meetings, make travel arrangements and assist security staff with badgering." "Marketing assistant: When writing and editing actor bios for theater playbills, I had to explain to small-town actors that no one really cared that they had the starring role in things like Mrs. Smith's third-grade class rendition of Peter and the Pumpkin Patch." "Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors." "Plenty." "Restaurant manager. Cleaned and supervised employees." "More than seven (8) years of general experience, of which more than four (5) years is in analyzing, designing and testing client/server applications." "I work in the store's men's department, stalking shirts and pants." "Small family business that holds no potential. Owner and managers, my father and his brothers, have no business sense." EDUCATION: "Minor public relations." "Attended collage courses." " Trained in CPR and harassment." "Took a specialty course titled How to Be Patient With an Impatient Boss." ACCOMPLISHMENTS/AWARDS: "Can run circles around my peers because I am not tethered to my phone, email, Facebook or any electronic device." "My last client called me a god, so that was award enough." "Dean’s list in college; honor roll in high school, middle school and elementary school." "Attained the rank of Eagle Scot." "Achieved so many awards. I have brought home many first-, second- and third-place trophies." "Numerous hardware and software certifications. I could wallpaper my entire bathroom with them, but my wife would kick me out if I did." SKILLS: "A lifetime of experience keeping track of time." "Goog at computer work." "The ability to use short bursts of muscle force to propel myself - as in jumping or sprinting or throwing an object." "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory." INTERESTS/HOBBIES: "Chess, soccer, cricket bowling." "Michael Bolton." "Gossiping." "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel." |
lordnoddy (3645) | ||
| 1362777 | 2013-12-17 19:35:00 | "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory." :lol::lol: |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1362778 | 2013-12-18 18:02:00 | Not for Astronauts (www.youtube.com) :banana :D:D |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1362779 | 2013-12-18 20:55:00 | Blaardy good one Wal... :D Ken |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1362780 | 2013-12-18 21:06:00 | That's a bit on the nose Wal . . . ;) | R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 1362781 | 2013-12-18 22:12:00 | That's a bit on the nose Wal . . . ;) :p |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1362782 | 2013-12-19 05:07:00 | An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologistwho shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS." The room erupted in applause Ken |
kenj (9738) | ||
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