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Thread ID: 135939	2013-12-30 22:39:00	Monday Laughs.......Tuesday Edition ..........Last for 2013	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1363937	2013-12-30 22:39:00	. FOUR RETIREES VISIT A BAR Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents . " They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true . The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini . In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis, shaken, not stirred, and says "That's 10 cents each, please . " The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other . They can't believe their good luck . They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round . Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40cents, please . " They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them . They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet . Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar . Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place . Every drink costs a dime . Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same . " "Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says . As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there . Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?" The Bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-priced, plus they all have coupons . . . " ********************************* Little Johnny's at it again . . . . . . . A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses . She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up . The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am' says little Johnny, 'but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face . 'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked . 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue . 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny . 'Giving up?' * * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local Police Station where they saw pictures of the 10 most wanted criminals tacked to the Station bulletin board . One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person . 'Yes,' said the policeman . 'The detectives want very badly to capture him . Little Johnny asked, " So why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? " * * * * * * * * * * * Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father . He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest . After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy . . Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the lawnmower guy wants to buy Mum . . . . ' ********************************* Wishing you all a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year, and if you can't manage that, just check in every Monday for a quick spirit enhancer . Cheers Billy *<8-{)> :thumbs:	Billy T (70)
1363938	2013-12-30 23:00:00	Good ones Billy! Thank you for all your effort on Monday Laughs throughout the year! Look forward to having a good laugh in 2014! LN.	lordnoddy (3645)
1363939	2013-12-30 23:20:00	Thanks Billy, for a year of laughs. :)	WalOne (4202)
1363940	2013-12-30 23:29:00	Thanks, Billy, for your efforts over the past year. I always look forward to the Monday Laughs. Starts my week off on a good note. Looking forward to more laughs in 2014. Hope that you and Mrs T had a good chrissy. All the best for the New Year to you both from Mrs Roscoe and myself.	Roscoe (6288)
1363941	2013-12-30 23:46:00	Cheers, Billy. Thanks for all the jokes, looking forward to the 2014 ones. Warmest wishes to you and yours.	Marnie (4574)
1363942	2013-12-31 01:44:00	Happy New Year BT, good jokes as usual. Liked the lawnmower man one.	Whenu (9358)
1363943	2013-12-31 02:46:00	Happy New Year BT, good jokes as usual. Liked the lawnmower man one. Same. Hadn't heard that one before!	Agent_24 (57)
1363944	2013-12-31 09:38:00	Great jokes. Pity we have to wait till next year for more of these jokes.	Bobh (5192)
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