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Thread ID: 136195	2014-02-02 00:04:00	It was a dark and stormy night (in the Ngati Whatua Room)	WalOne (4202)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1366606	2014-02-21 04:49:00	Things had suddenly gone quiet in the Ngati Whatalottahui Room; Len was conspicuous by his absence; activity at Coatesville Central was below detection threshhold; and in Wellington, Don Key, the smirking assassin, was hiding under his office desk counting his last 15 minutes' income before calling ArmourGuard to haul it down to the Bank. Something was going on somewhere, and somewhat surprisingly it was flying well below the Press Corpse radar (but then, they'd been dead in their own water for years now, coming out only to collect their pay cheques). It was not like WP to stay out of the limelight, or any other colour for that matter! So, the word went out "Find Winston, wherever he might be, leave no turn unstoned and be quick about it." "Winston will know what's going down" they cried, "and if he doesn't, he'll make it up as he goes along!" Some say "Good 'Old Winston" they chorused, then "Others tell the truth" came from a solitary voice from the distaff side of the House! But Winston was nowhere to be found. Rumours grew: 'he's been swallowed up by his own smirk' said a rotund brownee trouble shooter,' 'he's having a clandestine affair with Tittywhy Hairywallah' postulated another, 'he's become a lifetime in his own legend' cried a third, then suddenly around the corner came, not Winston, but something more horrible by far..................... It was....................	Billy T (70)
1366607	2014-02-21 05:33:00	Ermmmmmmmmmmm It was ...	WalOne (4202)
1366608	2014-02-21 08:29:00	Ermmmmmmmmmmm It was ... Musn't be too sensitive now Wal, we are all big people here, in spirit if not in stature........... It was Colon (Susem) Crayg no less, with a lawyer under one arm and a Ripley's 'Believe It Or Not' tucked firmly under the other. So many things I do not understand' he muttered, 'like why it has taken so long for this ripping yarn to call me up for service! I am, after all, a most remarkable man, and I have so much yet to offer to my erstwhile colleagues. In fact if they don't shape up pretty damned quick I'll sue the pants off them, just like I did that other chap, though I didn't actually get his pants, that was just a figment of speech, I don't want any misunderstandings in that region. Prime Minister Crayg.............Mmmmmmm..........That has a nice ring to it; yes Mr PM, No Mr PM, whatever you say Mr PM, and I'm a student of the Classics as well, so I know to stay away from porticos, somebody important was stabbed in the porti..................	Billy T (70)
1366609	2014-02-22 02:58:00	Colon was almost overcome as a feeling of dread and heaviness came over him. But gathering his wit about him (singular - wit, not wits), he was interrupted by the start of a chopper winding up and the appearance in the distance of a small but vocal crowd. As the small, but vocal crowd grew nearer (and thus less smaller), Colon saw it was in fact, a bunch of reporters from Campbell Live, Seven Sharp, The Herald; John Palino, Luigi Wewege; and the guy from Whale Oil, chasing a small and increasingly vocal Winnie. As Colon and the bunch of reporters from Campbell Live, Seven Sharp, The Herald; John Palino, Luigi Wewege; and the guy from Whale oil all vociferously watched, the chopper rose, with Winnie grasping the skids and clutching to his bosoms a wine box sized placard. The chopper rose and set course, not in the direction of the Upper Harbour, but in the general direction of Beyond the Bombay Hills. It was then that someone said they had seen what was on the wine box sized placard. On it was inscribed in the finest Copperplate script the words "TAUPO OR BUST" Underneath (in Arial Bold 20pt), were the words "Hooker Lodge for the Hookers" ...	WalOne (4202)
1366610	2014-02-24 02:04:00	"Thank God for a diversion!" said Mayor Tan, I'm sick of having to dive into recycle bins to avoid those damned protestors, I'm in quite enough shite already and you wouldn't believe what people dump in those things! But wait! Why is that hooker-filled helicopter flying south over my bailiwick? I must call up the Air Force and get them to enforce an exclusive exclusion zone so that I can exclusively exclude these trouble making interlopers! If it hadn't been for that parade of my loyal supporters on the weekend I'd be feeling rather threatened, at least, I think they were my supporters, it was a bit muffled, but I'm sure I heard them calling for me to come out to greet them". Meanwhile, back at DCM Central, a strangely tinted haze was rising slowly above the perfectly-formed roof line. 'Curses' cried the purple behemoth, it is ze poison gas attack, I knew I should not have eaten zat 10kg sack of sauerkraut all at vun sitting, it vas ze wurst thing I could have done and ze Mayor Braun has stolen ze limelight from me yet again. Maybe I should do ze hook-up with ze whale oil beef hooked commandant und together we could rule ze world! Meanwhile, back in Bellamys' Wellington hall of power, a group of shady conspirators were hatching yet another plot to overthrow the previous plot which hadn't fully eliminated the plot before that..... 'So, loyal members' said the Chief Plodder, 'we have not been successful in achieving our aims, and in fact we have failed miserably! I will now take suggestions from the floor, which might make more sense that you sad lot..........."	Billy T (70)
1366611	2014-02-24 03:40:00	"Please sir", called a small voice from the back of the crowd, "I'd like to move that you in future be styled 'Chief Plonker'." "Colon", cried the Chief Plonker, "you do move a lot of s*** !" "Rhubarb, rhubarb" chorused the by now half-cut Bellamys' clientele. "Rhubarb, indeed." "All hail the Chief Plonker".	WalOne (4202)
1366612	2014-02-24 22:39:00	Immensely gratified by the adulation delivered unto him by the thinly sliced hams (most of them well known and well upholstered Bellamys' clientele), the Chief Plonker, plonking furiously (he needed the practice) set out at once on a wondrous journey to the Lonely Mountain, wherein he had heard that fabled wealth awaited him, riches even! I know where the Key is hidden, he muttered, It hides across great oceans and among strange people, and yea, the holder doth speak in tongues, but he'll be back in Remmers soon enough and once I get him in my clutches there will be no door I cannot open, except, perhaps, that to Buck House, wherein resides a fearsome old crone with an ancient retainer who doth follow her everywhere, but one step behind. Sir Plonker has such a nice ring to it, and if I grease up the old bird maybe I could become Lord Plonker of Someplace. 'I will become a leg end in my own lifetime" he murmured to himself (as nobody else was listening), "then they will sit up and take notice, I'm not the fool they think I am; I'm a totally different type of fool, so any more of that nonsense and I'll sic the Tooth Fairy onto them. Then the alarm went off beside his mahogany four-poster bed (all four of them showing him meeting with Very Important Posers) and the Chief Plonker awoke to the sounds of.......................right outside his bedroom window.	Billy T (70)
1366613	2014-02-25 03:34:00	It was the sound of a lone piper, alone as most pipers are, no-one can stand their bagpipes. The piper was playing "Amazing, Grace!" - he hadn't learned the music of the much more sedate version, "Amazing Grace". "What the hell do you think you're doing?" demanded the Chief Plonker, next exclaiming "What a bloody racket!" "Beg pardon, Sir" hurtfully ventured the piper, "I am here to wake up the Crone Mother". "Well, she's not here. She popped her clogs when they cut her gin rations some time ago. Mind you, that racket would be enough to waken all of that lot." ... "Now leave me alone" the leg end cried, "I need to practice my plonking ... Piss off!"	WalOne (4202)
1366614	2014-02-27 08:40:00	Enter Matt McCarten stage left! Reality is indeed stranger than fiction . :illogical We can't trump that . :( End of story . . . . . . . . . . . . Billy 8-{) :dogeye:	Billy T (70)
1366615	2014-03-01 00:34:00	The stage though, was a fairly small stage, as stages go. It was so small, and Matt McCarten was so far to the left and off stage he couldn't be seen. What was seen, was a group of embalmers, lead by a coroner, carrying a body bag. The body bag was moving and kicking, and screams could be heard coming from it. Royters pick up the story ... A funeral director in Coatesville got a bit of a shock this week when a PC Forums Thread, brought to him in a body bag, kicked to get out just before it was to be embalmed, a local TV station reported. "It was not dead, long story short," funeral director Ima Porky told broadcaster TV 3 late on Thursday. The Thread, "It was a dark and stormy night (in the Ngati Whatua Room)", had been pronounced dead on Wednesday after the coroner arrived at the HQ of PCW Forums and found no pulse. The Thread was then taken to the funeral home. "I stood there and watched them put it in a body bag and zip it up," Porky told the broadcaster. Workers at the funeral home were preparing to embalm the Thread. "We definitely were not going to do anything to it when we saw that it was not deceased," Porky said. Paramedics, moderators, editors and publishers picked the Thread up from the funeral home and took it to an area hospital, where it has been receiving treatment. "I don't know how long it's going to be here, but I know it's back right now. That's all that matters," Porky told TV3. The coroner said the thread's pacemaker may have stopped and then started working again, according to TV3. - Royters	WalOne (4202)
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