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Thread ID: 136386	2014-02-24 01:09:00	Monday Laughs.................Dedicated to our Senior Members.....................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1368581	2014-02-24 01:09:00	. Across the years........... 1977: Long hair 2014: Longing for hair 1977: KEG 2014: ECG 1977: Acid rock 2014: Acid reflux 1977: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2014: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1977: Seeds and stems 2014: Roughage 1977: Going to a new, hip joint 2014: Receiving a new hip joint 1977: Rolling Stones 2014: Kidney Stones 1977: Screw the system 2014: Upgrade the system 1977: Parents begging you to get your hair cut 2014: Children begging you to get their heads shaved 1977: Passing the drivers' test 2014: Passing the driver's vision test 1977: Whatever 2014: Depends And just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things: * The people who are starting university this year were born in 1992. * They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. * Their lifetime has always included AIDS. * Bottle tops have always been screw off . * The CD was introduced 3 years before they were born. * They have always had an answering machine * They have always had internet. * They cannot imagine not having a remote control. * Popcorn has always been made in the microwave. * They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. * They can't understand what hard contact lenses are. * They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. * They have no idea who J. R. was, and don't give a damn who shot him. * They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet? It is good to have friends who remember life before all these things, and are still alive and kicking!!!! ********************************* More Shorts.............. Marriage changes passion: Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. ************** I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it, so I said 'Implants?' She hit me. ************** How come they choose from just two people to run for President of the USA, but over fifty for Miss America? ************** Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. ************** I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! ************** When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.' ************** Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. ************** Wouldn't it be nice if, whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN!! ************** Wouldn't you know it.......Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. ********************************* Want to know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when your joints start making the same noises as your coffee maker. These days about half the stuff in my shopping trolley says, 'For fast relief.' ********************************* THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into those I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. ********************************* I was sitting at my computer the other day and called out to my wife, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, DARLING" She shouted back "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!" Cheers Billy 8-{) ;) P.S. I've kept them short, because I know your attention span is not what it used to be :D	Billy T (70)
1368582	2014-02-24 02:53:00	Ha ha Billy....so true Ken:D	kenj (9738)
1368583	2014-02-24 06:26:00	Just being picky: "The people who are starting university this year were born in 1992." Probably more likely that they were born in 1995... :D	johcar (6283)
1368584	2014-02-24 06:42:00	Just being picky: "The people who are starting university this year were born in 1992." Probably more likely that they were born in 1995... :D This. I was born in 1993 and am just finishing off university. :p	pcuser42 (130)
1368585	2014-02-24 09:20:00	Just being picky: "The people who are starting university this year were born in 1992." Probably more likely that they were born in 1995...:D Yes, you are probably right for the majority, I didn't think to do the mental arithmetic, in fact when I did, the figures came out as 1997/98 allowing a start at age 17/18. Cheers Billy 8-{) :blush:	Billy T (70)
1368586	2014-02-24 20:11:00	In the olden days we got by without remote control because there was only one TV channel.	Bobh (5192)
1368587	2014-02-24 20:18:00	Nonsense. We had one channel from NZTV, and all the rest had 24 hour showings of "War Of The Ants". ;)	R2x1 (4628)
1368588	2014-02-24 22:05:00	Nonsense. We had one channel from NZTV, and all the rest had 24 hour showings of "War Of The Ants". ;) Love that R2! Great description, I'd always thought it was a snow job by TVNZ trying to find an excuse for not having more channels! Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
1368589	2014-02-26 06:20:00	The new coast guard trainee is left alone on watch for the first time. Before leaving him to go get a beer, the watch chief said "I won't be long. Just remember to use engris when talking to the yachties. Easy". " Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is sailing yacht Seagoon. We are sinking!" "Hellow sailing yacht Seagoon. Zis is ******** coast guard. I have received your message." After a couple of minutes: " Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is sailing yacht Seagoon. We are sinking!" Goast guard trainee replies: "Hellow sailing yacht Seagoon. Zis is ******** coast guard. I have received your message." ******** coast guard! This is sailing yacht Seagoon again! We are SINKING!! Do you understand? WE ARE SINKING!! DO SOMETHING!!" "Err yes, sailing yacht Seagoon. Zis is ******** coast guard. What you are sinking about pleez?"	WalOne (4202)
1368590	2014-02-26 07:44:00	Nonsense. We had one channel from NZTV, and all the rest had 24 hour showings of "War Of The Ants". ;) Thought it was the Weather Channel.	Whenu (9358)
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