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Thread ID: 136620	2014-03-23 08:41:00	Monday Laughs:.........Shorts...............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1371075	2014-03-23 08:41:00	. . . I will never be 'over the hill' I'm too damn tired to climb it. ********* Somebody sent me an email about using Vodka when cleaning around the house. IT WORKED! The more Vodka I drank, the cleaner the house looked! ********* Middle Age: That time when you finally get your head together, then your damn body starts falling apart! ********* When a woman says "What?" it is not because she didn't hear you, she is just giving you a chance to reconsider what you just said! ********* Why is it that medications never list "good" side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medicine label that says "May cause extreme sexual attractiveness." ********* The older I get, the more clearly I can remember things which never actually happened. ********************************* Here's a little poem for you. Another year has passed and we are all a little older. Last summer felt much hotter, and the winter seemed much colder. There was a time not long ago, when life was quite a blast. But now I fully understand about 'Life living in the Past' We used to go to parties, football games and lunches. Now we go to funeral homes, and after-funeral brunches. We used to have bad hangovers, from parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches, and while the night away. We used to go out dining but, we couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, then go home and take a pill. We used to travel often, to places near and far. Now we get sore backsides just from riding in the car. We used to go to nightclubs, to dance and drink up booze. Now we stay at home each night, and watch the evening news. So that, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told. Enjoy each day, and live it up......before you're too damned old! ********************************* Beer Theories Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth ********* "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day." Anonymous ********* "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Paul Horning ********* "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken ********* "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw ********* "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin ********* "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry ********* Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey ********* To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1371076	2014-03-23 20:46:00	I can identify with the beer homilies :lol:	WalOne (4202)
1371077	2014-03-23 23:19:00	I was in Crabby Joe's last night at the bar waiting for a beer when a butt-ugly big old heifer came up behind me and slapped me on the ass. She said “hey sexy, how about giving me your number” I looked at her and said” Have you got a pen” She said “I sure do." I said “ Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing” My dental surgery is on Monday	tut (12033)
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