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Thread ID: 136896	2014-04-28 01:36:00	Monday Laughs:....Little Johnny again, the Frog, Making it stiff, and others.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1373612	2014-04-28 01:36:00	. . The Old Frog and Golf A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices an old frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears 'Ribbit, 9 Iron.' The man looks around and doesn't see anyone, but again he hears 'Ribbit, 9 Iron.' He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 Iron. Whack! He hits it and it stops 10cm from the cup. He is shocked and says to the frog: 'Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, 'Ribbit, lucky frog.' The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. 'What do you think frog? The man asks. 'Ribbit 3 wood.' The guy takes out a 3 wood and, boom! he hits a hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say! By the end of the day, the man has played the best round of golf in his life and asks the frog, 'OK where to next?' The frog replies, 'Ribbit - Las Vegas’ They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, 'OK frog, now what?' and the frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.' Upon approaching the Roulette table, the man asks, 'What do you think I should bet?' The frog replies, 'Ribbit $3000, Black 6.' Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck, then Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and books the best room in the Hotel. He sits the frog down and says, 'Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.' The frog replies, 'Ribbit Kiss Me.' The man figures why not? since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 18-year-old girl, 'And that, your Honour, is how that girl ended up in my room! ********************************* Ten things you should NEVER say to a Cop: 1. I can't reach my licence unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Hey, you must've been doin' about a hunnerd & sixty fast ones to catch up with me. Good job! 4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer? 5. You're not gonna check the boot, are you? 6. I pay your salary! 7. Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific. The last cop only gave me a warning too! 8. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 9. I was trying to keep up with the traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are! 10. I'd like your number please, the Commissioner is a very good friend of mine. ********************************* Little Johnny again....... The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Johnny at the back of the class put his hand up and says to the teacher, are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you're getting your birds mixed up 'cos my big sister has a new baby and she said it she got it from a shag at the beach. ********************************* A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr Smith advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!' She did this faithfully for several months and to her utter amazement, she grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies. A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith?' 'Yes I am' she replied... 'How did you know? He winked and whispered, ‘Hickory dickory dock...’ ********************************* MAKING IT STIFF To make it Stand, You Wet it! To make it Wet, You Lick it! To make it Stiff, You Suck it! To Get It In, You Push it! Damn!!!! Threading a needle when you're an old fart is a bltch. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1373613	2014-04-28 08:02:00	:thumbs::D	R2x1 (4628)
1373614	2014-04-29 09:42:00	An Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and stopped at an outback hotel on their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, 'Do you want the 'Bridal'?' The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied, "Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."	tutaenui (1724)
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