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Thread ID: 136945	2014-05-05 03:45:00	Monday Laughs:....Marriage etc...............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1374168	2014-05-05 03:45:00	. . The passage of years...... After twenty years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways she hadn't experienced in quite some time. It tickled as his fingers started at her neck, then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower abdomen. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left upper arm, caressed past the side ofmher breast again, then working down her side, passing gently over her buttovk and down her leg to the calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost part of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, the suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV. As she had become quite aroused by this unexpected attention and his gentle caressing, she said in a loving voice "that was wonderful, but why did you stop?" He replied, "I found the remote." ********************************* Formula for Happiness: Got my coffee. Got my cigarettes Got my computer And I took my prozac It's gonna be a great day. ********************************* Obsessions... A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. It manifests itself in your children's names, Penny, Goldie and Frank. He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children's names: Brandy and Sherry. You even called your cat, "Whisky". He then turned to the fourth Mum June: "Your obsession is with flowers. Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy." At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered: "Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home." ********************************* Defying logic and reason: Why would anbody want to remarry their first spouse? It is like finding your milk was off, putting it in your rubbish, then after a couple of days, wondering : "Gee, I wonder if it might taste better now?" ********************************* ...and ....God's problem now: His wife's graveside service was just barely finished when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there." Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1374169	2014-05-05 04:46:00	An Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and stopped at an outback hotel on their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, 'Do you want the 'Bridal'?' The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied, "Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it." --------------------------------------- A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 'You got Male'	tutaenui (1724)
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